Thursday, November 17, 2011

An Obituary printed in the London Times...

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, 'Common Sense', who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were lost long in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain
- Why the early bird gets the worm
- Life isn't always fair
- And, maybe it was my fault

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (Don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (Adults, not children, are in charge)
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun tan lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason. He is survived by his four stepbrothers: I Know My Rights - I Want It Now - Someone Else Is To Blame and I'm A Victim.
Attendance at the funeral was not many, since so few realized that he was gone.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Top Ten...

 It's that time of year again to take hold and look at the crazy food concoctions that came out of State Fairs this year...

Each year gatherings from small venues to huge state fairs across the country offer visitors an array of food vendors with hundreds of options, most of which are fried and or on a stick for easy eating.
Since only the guiltiest of pleasures are considered as ingredients, the selection of food is often more ridiculous than you could expect and the combinations keep getting more obscure.  But when you can deep fry anything and call it delicious, hundreds of fair goers seem to rally around you.

Here is a look at some of the weirdest concoctions to come from fairs around the nation this year...

10. Chocolate Covered Corn DogThe Orange County State Fair:

9. Deep Fried Kool-AidSan Diego County Fair:

8. Deep Fried Butter On A Stick — Iowa State Fair:

7. Buffalo Chicken in a Flapjack — Texas State Fair:

6. Red Velvet Funnel CakeFlorida State Fair:

5. El BananaritoTexas State Fair:

 4. Chocolate Covered Jalapeno PoppersMinnesota State Fair:

3. Deep Fried SalsaTexas State Fair:

2. Breakfast Lollipop –- Minnesota State Fair:

1. Fried Ice Cream BurgerFlorida State Fair: